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Beautiful Iris - part 8 - Lost.

August 24th, 2007 (09:15 am)

current mood: bouncy

Title: Beautiful Iris

Part 8 - Lost

Author: Jo19844

:NC17 for the series

: Jack/Ianto, Tosh/Owen (sort of)

: When a seemingly cut-and-dried incident calls out Torchwood early one morning not everything as it seems. Alien technology transmits a strange frequency signal and leads them into a trap of curiosity and an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar faces.

: I don't own Torchwood... believe me... if i did Jack and Ianto would walk around in nothing but tight pants (and a tie for Ianto) The BBC own it. so as much as i love it i don't own it :( also the title don't belong to me lol Although i have some pretty characters i made up myself.

: Up to episode 7, also slight spoiler (very tiny) from the book Border Princess

Notes: Sorry about the delay. prsonal stuff

Part 1: Cut & dried
here -> http://jo19844.livejournal.com/4527.html
Part 2: Alien Lego here --> http://jo19844.livejournal.com/15486.html
Part 3 is here --> http://jo19844.livejournal.com/15691.html
Part 4: Meeting Iris here --> http://jo19844.livejournal.com/17433.html
Part 5: Finding the way here --> http://jo19844.livejournal.com/17963.html
Part 6: Thinking here --> http://jo19844.livejournal.com/18276.html
Part 7: Is this what you want? here --> http://jo19844.livejournal.com/19490.html

Ianto groaned and opened his eyes. Whatever it was that had awoken him had done so by sitting on his chest, and it was heavy, too heavy to ignore anyway. A loud meowing reverberated around the stone walls of the building and he finally sat up, looking down at Spike who meowed again and sat on the scratchy hay looking expectant.

He looked around and squinted, the sunlight broke through the door, creating a single beam of blinding light in the dark room. The building was Arctically cold, and made completely of stone, with large wooden doors and a high roof that made every sound echo. It was empty, save for a scattering of old hay and a few empty wooden crates.

He reached down and put his hand on Spikes head, stoking the fur behind his ears, making him purr; the cat lay down on the floor and stretched out lazily. His claws spread out and he closed his eyes, yawning wide and licking his teeth..

The door opened, squeaking on the old rusted hinges, and Iris appeared in the doorway. She opened one door wide, letting the morning light stream in and walked over to him. Ianto shaded his eyes from the new intruding daylight and moved back into the shadows a little.

“Mr Jones?” She looked at him with intrigue and crossed her arms. “What on earth are you doing?”

Ianto covered his eyes and moved back even more, hiding from the light as much as he could. “Waking up,” he said groggily.

“You've slept in here all night?”



“It's hard to explain,” he said.

“You and the Captain had a disagreement.” Iris looked down at Ianto. “I heard you arguing last night.”

“What did you hear?” Ianto was suddenly scared, but surely if she had heard what she shouldn't have the look on her face wouldn't have been so kind.

“Not much. I just heard you storm out of the room and down the stairs. If i had known that you were going to sleep rough then I would have at least offered you a blanket.” She took her shawl from her shoulders and draped it over Ianto's back. “You shouldn't have slept here. You're recovering from a concussion and you're sure to get a chill.”

“Thank you.”

Iris sat down beside him and tucked her knees to her chest, casting her eyes around the tall building. “I haven't been in here for months,” she said, “not since we sold the horses. It's the old stable.”

“It doesn't look like a stable.”

“We took down the walls to use it as a store.”

“Not much stored in here,” Ianto said looking around the bare room. “Looks a little empty.” He looked up at the roof and at the hole that let the rainwater trickle through. “And derelict.”

“Things don't always work out as you hope them to.” She smiled, a gentle smile that didn't reach her eyes and sighed heavily. “It's funny that I should find you in here. This is where Patrick always used to hide when he didn't want to be found.”

“It was the closest thing nearby when it started to rain.” Ianto shrugged. “It looked dry and that was good enough for me.”

They sat in silence for a while, neither really knowing what to say and then, out of the blue, Iris turned her body to face him and rested her elbows on her knees. She rested her chin in the palms of her hand and studied the Welshman.

“You're rather good looking you know,” she said, “quite the handsome kind Mr. Jones if you don't mind me saying so..”

“No, of course not.” Ianto blushed a little; half out of panic, and the other half out of bashfulness. “It's nice to hear actually, it's just that I'm not--”

“Not what?” she smiled weakly as she looked down at Ianto's grubby feet that seemed to have hay stuck to it.

Ianto eyed her suspiciously and opened his mouth to speak. “I know that you may think that I'm--”

“Don't take that the wrong way,” Iris said quickly, cutting his sentence off before he could complete it. “I'm not showing my interest in you. I was just wondering something about you.”

“Wondering what?”

“You're quite the handsome gentleman, you seem rather kind, and from what I know you're a nice natured man. So how is it that you travel with the Captain and the oriental lady?”

“What do you mean?”

“Aren't you married. Don't you have a girl?” she asked.

Ianto panicked internally for a moment before relaxing again, exhaling a long sigh.“I did,” he said sadly, pulling the shawl around his shoulders to keep himself warm. “Her name was Lisa, but she passed away.”

“I'm sorry, i wouldn't have mentioned it if I had known.” Iris froze for a while, and then licked her lips before focussing her gaze on the Welshman. “Do you mind me asking what happened to her?”

“I guess you could say that she lost her mind.”

“My mother was like that,” she said, “after my sister was born she just lost her mind. She refused to touch her, she wouldn't feed her and then one day she went out to the paddock and ended her life with her own hands. She just didn't want to be here any more, it was almost as though something inside of her gave up and changed who she was; I didn't even know her in the end.”

“That's terrible, I'm sorry.”

“Really?” she asked with the tiniest hint of a smile. “I didn't know that it was you that killed her.” Iris picked up Spike and let him stretch out lazily across her lap. “I have one rule; never apologise for things that you aren't responsible for. There's no good in pointing fingers in an empty room, that's what my mother always said.”

A deadly silence filled the old stone building again, and just for a second it almost seemed to cling to the air and then echo around the walls.

“Did Spike do that?” Iris said suddenly, pointing to the deep scratches on Ianto's hand.


“He's a grumpy old man,” she said, tickling the cat under his chin, “but I wouldn't have him any other way.”

“I'd have him without claws,” the Welshman muttered.

Iris chuckled and stroked a purring Spike on her lap. “Do you keep animals?”

“I have a fish,” Ianto said, “he's called fish.”

“You have s fish called fish?”

“It's self-explanatory,” he explained, “I'm a man of very few words.”

“You're a man of few words and the Captain is a man of many, usually unnecessary and tinged with a degree of flirtation.”

Ianto smiled. “That's a very accurate observation.”

Iris pulled herself to her feet and dusted off her skirt. “I must go and start breakfast, will you be joining me?”

“No,” Ianto said, “I think I'll just sit here and think for a while if you don't mind.”

“Of course not.”

“And if you speak to Jack, you haven't seen me.”

Iris nodded in understanding and left.


Toshiko sat outside on the old wooden bench and looked out on the rain from the shelter of the porch. It had been a long night and her lack of sleep had made it seem even longer; now it was just past six-thirty in the morning and she watched the rain fall for the second consecutive hour. She heard the padding of bare feet on the stone behind her and then a firm hand cup her shoulder.

“It's funny how rain in the twentieth century looks just the same as it does in the twenty-first.” Jack walked around in front of her and took a seat on the other side of the bench. “Miserable, cold and wet.”

“I suppose some things never change.”

“Most things don't,” he said, leaning back and watching the grey sky as the clouds gathered, “Faces and scenery come and go, but a lot of the things we love remain static. It's fantastic. Not like people, people constantly change.”

“You say that like people don't matter.”

“People are unpredictable, you never know where you stand, but in Wales it will always rain.”

Toshiko moved closer to Jack on the bench and licked her lips a little before speaking. “This isn't about the rain, Jack.”

“I didn't say it was about the rain.”

“It's about Ianto.”

“It's not.” Jack's answer was a little too quick and Tosh covered his knee with her hand.

“Yes it is.”

Jack gave in and sighed audibly. “Well, not just Ianto.”

“I take it that you two didn't sort things out then.”

“I thought we had, I really did.”


“But we haven't. I thought you would know all about it.” His voice was a little harsher than he had meant it. “I'm sure he told you all about it last night.”

“Last night?”

Jack turned to face her. “When he ran to you and probably told you everything.”

“I haven't seen him since he went after you last night; he didn't come back after that.” Toshiko narrowed her eyes and shifted closer to the older man, who now had a confused look on his face. “Whatever you think is going on between me and Ianto is all in your head, Jack.”

“If he didn't go to you then where did he go?”

“I don't know, but he wasn't with me.”

Jack stood up and started to walk away before turning back. “I'm sorry. I kind of jumped to conclusions.”

“Yes you did.”

“I was wrong.”

“Yes you were.”

“And you're going to make me suffer, aren't you?” he asked.

Toshiko got up and hobbled her way over to Jack, holding onto him for balance. “You need to go and find him and make the first move. You're as stubborn as each other and one of you has to take the first step to sort things out. You can't go on like this.”


“Have you seen Ianto?” Jack asked. He put his foot up on the chair and fastened his boot as Iris walked in the kitchen from outside.

“No sir.”

Jack looked at her as he tightened his laces and smiled lightly before straightening his trousers over his boots. “If you see him would you let him know that I need to speak to him as soon as possible?”

“Certainly sir, if I see him I will absolutely let him know.” Jack walked past her, putting his hand on the door handle, and the young woman touched his arm lightly. “I have not seen his this morning.”


“No, I mean--” Iris took a deep breath and looked directly into Jack's eyes as she spoke, “when I was walking I did not see him. I certainly did not see him in the old stables in the paddock.”


“Not sleeping rough,” she added, “on the old hay with the cat.”

“I see.” Jack smiled. “Did he, by any chance, tell you that you should forget that you saw him?”

“I couldn't possibly betray his trust sir,” Iris smiled, turning and pouring two cups of tea into old tin cups. “When a man tells you that you haven't seen him you simply can't go around telling people that you have.” She handed Jack the tea. “Even if you think that his friend should go and apologise to him for whatever it is that he has done to make him find the cold stone stable more appealing than a warm comfortable bed for the night.”

“Thank you.”

“It's no bother, just as long as you do not mention the fact that I mentioned what he asked me specifically not to.”

“You didn't tell me anything,” Jack said making his way to the door.

Iris turned back to the stove and started to crack eggs into a pan of spitting fat. “And send him in for him breakfast will you, he's already risked a cold by sleeping out all night, I wouldn't want him to go hungry.”

Jack laughed and put the tea down on the bench, walking up behind her. He took her hand and turned her around. “What would we do without you?”

“I dare say you would starve and eventually die Captain. After all that's what most men would do without a good woman to look after them.”

“And you certainly are a good woman,” Jack said, planting a kiss on her cheek.

Iris blushed a little and rubbed her cheek. “Don't let my father see you kiss me like that, he'll have you out on your ear.”

“You wouldn't let him throw me out,” Jack said.

“That all depends on whether you go and make it up with Mr. Jones sir.” Iris turned to look at him over her shoulder. “the poor boy is in that stable looking lost, like a stray little puppy-dog.”

“But you do like strays Miss Hughes,” Jack smiled.

“I adore strays, just as long as they don't fight in my garden.”


Jack made his way through the heavy downpour and towards the old stable across the far end of the yard. The cobbled stones were wet and on a few occasions he slipped and had to stop himself from falling; half of the tea in the old tin mugs had been splashed across the stones already and what was left was mixed in with rainwater. He opened the stable door and peeked into the darkness before stepping inside. It was cold, wet and dark; the only light came from the crack in the door and the odd hole in the roof where rain seeped through drop by drop.

Ianto turned and looked at the Captain as he walked in and then avoided his gaze. “You found me then.”

“It was kind of fun,” Jack said, edging towards the Welshman slowly, “there's nothing quite like a game of early twentieth century hide and seek to set you up for the day.” Jack looked down at him when he reached his side, and then cast his eyes around the room. “The old stable huh? Original, yet slightly cliché at the same time.”

“She told you.”

“Yeah,” Jack admitted, “what can I say; I charmed it out of her with my alluring smile and winning personality.”

Ianto tried not to smile as he played with the scattering of hay on the ground. “Sometimes I think it's impossible for you to take anything seriously.”

“That's not true, I take most things very seriously indeed.” Jack sat down beside him on the ground who edged away a little. He handed him one of the old tin mugs. “It's not Coffee, and it has rain in it, but it's hot.”

“Thank you.” Ianto's thanks was barely audible, but at least it was there, and as he took the cup from him he let his fingers brush against Jack's for a moment; he pulled away quickly, as though he had been burnt.

They took a few sips of tea in silence until Jack put his mug down on the stone floor. “I was worried when you didn't come back last night.”

“I meant to, I really did.”

“Then why didn't you?”

“I had every intention of coming back.” Ianto avoided Jack's gaze. “But then it started to rain and I took cover in here with every intention of going back when it stopped, only it never did so I stayed here all night.”

“And that's the only reason?”

“I didn't say it was the only reason.”

“I think we need to talk.”

“I don't.” Ianto pulled himself to his feet and made his way to the door

“Right now is very bad time for us to be fighting,” Jack said, following him and stopping him before he could walk out. “We should be sticking together and helping each other out, not avoiding each other and arguing.”

“You're the one who is arguing Jack,” he said. Ianto turned to face the older man and took a step in his direction. “You were the one who pushed me and pushed me until I had no option but to break.”


“There's nothing going on between me and Tosh. It was a kiss and that's all.”

“We established that last night, this is way beyond that now.” He took another step towards the Welshman and set his gaze onto his eyes. “You told me that you felt nothing for me.”


“And it was a lie.”

“I know.” Ianto let his eyes lock onto Jack's for a moment. “I'm sorry.”

“For what?” he asked, “for lying to me?”

“No.” Ianto shook his head slowly. “Lying to you is no problem for me. I have bigger secrets than this.”

“So what are you sorry for?”

Ianto opened his mouth to speak, but averted his eyes at the last moment and moved away. “I should go and change out of these clothes, Iris said I would get a chill and I would hate to prove her right. I bet she's intolerable when she gets one over on you.”

“I think that it's more important for us to talk.”

“No. It's not.”

“Then let me rephrase it for you.” Jack stood behind him. “I need you to talk to me, I need to know why you wouldn't come back. And that means the real reason, not some half-arced attempt at what you think would be easiest for me to understand.”

Ianto turned around and put his hands on Jack's coat, running his fingers down the lapels. “So you want to know the honest reason why I didn't come back to bed last night?”


“Are you sure?”

Ianto didn't wait for an answer to his question and pulled Jack closer to him by his coat; his hands fisted the thick wool until his knuckles turned white. He dragged Jack's lips closer to his own and kissed him. The Captain's hands gripped Ianto's hips and drew them closer together so that no space could pass between.

Ianto pulled away, panting, and pressed his forehead against the older man's; he opened his eyes and set his gaze upon Jack. His eyes were darker than Jack had ever seen them, and his words were laced with a gravely husk “ Iris knows that we're in here together and the only  reason I stopped kissing you now is that at any moment she could come in here and see us. But last night, if I had come back and you were awake?” Ianto's lips brushed Jack's as he spoke. “I would have kissed you again; the door would have been locked and we would have been there alone. Nothing could have stopped me. I wouldn't have been able to let you go Jack.”

“Is wanting to kiss me really so bad?”

“Right now it's the worst thing that I can imagine.”

“Why?” Jack asked, “Why is a kiss such a big deal to you?”

“A kiss is not just a kiss Jack, not here and now. And you know why.”

“No. No actually, I don't.”

Ianto took a step back and finally removed Jack from his grip. “If we were back home and I felt this way then nothing could have stopped me, but this is a different time Jack; it's a whole different world.”

“Tell me why what we do behind closed doors here is any different to back home.”

“Because it is.”


“Do you even know what they do to people like us here?” Ianto asked, closing the gap between them again. He put his hand on Jack's face and trailed his thumb across his cheekbone. “They're not so accepting in this time Jack, far from it. You can't just live your life the way you want to here, especially not in such a small community.”

“But behind closed doors--”

“Nothing is behind closed doors forever, Jack.”

“Not forever,” Jack said, “just until we get back.”

“And what if we don't?”

“We will.”

“But what if we don't, what then?” Ianto's voice was calm and low, as though he was whispering, and his eyes fixed on Jack's. “Do we hide away and hope that nobody finds out about us, because you cant hide it forever. Someone will find out Jack, and then we're as good as dead.” His voice shook a little. “This thing between us has to stop before it really begins.”

“You're reading far too much into this,” Jack said, running his fingers across Ianto's lips, “you're in a place that you don't fully understand and you're just a little bit scared so you're over-thinking. I understand that.”

The Welshman took a breath and dropped his gaze. “I'm not over-thinking. I know exactly what is going to happen. They would lock us up and life would be finished for us,” he tried to move away but Jack was stronger and held his body close. “That life is not easy, it's hard grafting labour that makes your hands bleed and life is downgraded to a mere existence; I cant live through that, it'll kill me Jack.”

Jack took a sudden step back and looked at Ianto; his mouth opened and closed without speech a few times until he finally found his voice. “You're not out of your time here are you? You're slap bang in the middle of it.”

Ianto backed away and distanced himself from a shocked Jack who glared at him, demanding an answer. “I should go--”

“You can't.” Jack pulled him back from the doorway. “You have to explain this to me because I'm not understanding much of anything that's coming out of your mouth at the moment.”

“He promised me that I wouldn't have to live in this world again,” Ianto said, “he said I would be safe and now I'm not.”

“Who did?”

Ianto ignored him. “I'm not safe, I'm right back in the worst place I could possibly be with the worst possible person I could ever be with. He broke his promises and now things couldn't be worse.”


“It doesn't matter,” the Welshman shook his head, “he doesn't matter any more.”


Ianto fell silent. “He was my lover; he worked for Torchwood. He helped me escape and promised he wouldn't be far behind, but he never came back for me. He left me in a world I didn't understand, alone and scared, but I've never been more scared than I am right now.”

“What are we talking about here Ianto?” Jack approached him and held his face in his hands. “Why are you so scared?”

“This year, it's the worst year of my existence. And next year I become a wanted man.”


“I escape and I disappear, but if we don't find our way back and they find me my life is finished.”

“I'll get us home. I'll find a way.”

“Promise me,” Ianto demanded.

“I can't do that. But I'll keep you safe.” Jack pressed his forehead to Ianto's temple. “We just have to stick together and everything will be fine.” He kissed his lips gently. “Don't worry.”

“This doesn't change anything,” Ianto said, “I still cant be with you. Not in this time.”

“And when we get back?”

Ianto returned Jack's soft kiss and raked his fingers through the Captain's hair for a moment before pulling away. “I still wont be able to control this; it's hard enough when I can walk away at the end of the day.”

Jack cupped Ianto's cheeks in his hands and pressed a kiss to his lips. He wrapped his arms around the younger man, pulling his head against his shoulder; his lips brushed against Ianto's ear. “I could probably handle all this if only I wasn't stuck here with you.”

“And we are stuck,” Ianto whispered, trailing his hands across Jack's back. “I can't think of anything worse.”

“You could be alone.”

His smile was so faint it was barely there. “I don't even think that would be worse to be honest.”

“We should probably head back in.”


Jack ran his thumb across the back of Ianto's neck, feeling the soft skin beneath his fingertips; every fibre of his being was telling him to let go, but the fingers that caressed the Welshman's skin refused to let go. He could feel the slow beating of the younger man's heart thump through his chest, and the heat of Ianto's breath on his neck was comfortable and warm; he didn't want to let go.

“They're probably to starting to wonder where we've got to,” Jack said, “they'll be sending out a search party.”

“I know.” Ianto stepped back a little to break the embrace, only to find Jack's firm hands on the back of his neck, pulling him back. A soft kiss landed on his shoulder and a hot breath tickled his earlobe. He settled back into the comfort of Jack's arms and inhaled the familiar scent that never seemed to fade.

“We could wait until the rain stops,” Jack whispered, “just stay in here for a while.” He trailed his thumb across the back of Ianto's neck again and felt Ianto's hot breath exhale onto his cool neck. “It's warm and dry in here with you.”

“Out there--”

“I don't want to think about what's out there,” he said, “I never get the chance to forget the world exists.”

Ianto sighed heavily and gripped onto Jack's shoulder. “You never will. Reality is the one thing that you can't run away from; i've tried too many times.”

The older man planted a small kiss on Ianto's neck and rested his warm lips on the cool skin. “I just wish we could hide from it sometimes. I'm sick of being the one who never gets to hide away once in a while.”

“Jack.” Ianto reached behind him and lifted the Captain's hand from his neck, lacing their fingers together by his side. “We really need to go.”

Ianto broke away from him and made his way towards the door, leaving Jack behind.

“I'll get us home,” Jack said.

“Let's hope so.” Ianto didn't turn back to face him. "I refuse to live through this life again.


Posted by: JenyTheyScreamed (atheneunknown)
Posted at: August 24th, 2007 09:03 am (UTC)

Yay for Jo writing again!

Yay for this story, and Yay for this chapter.

<3 goregously done!

Posted by: geordie_star (geordie_star)
Posted at: August 24th, 2007 09:58 am (UTC)

YAY! Jo this was a fantastic chapter, Well Done!

And YAY for Spike!

Posted by: jo19844 (jo19844)
Posted at: August 24th, 2007 10:08 am (UTC)

should probably point out that Spike is her cat lol.

Posted by: geordie_star (geordie_star)
Posted at: August 24th, 2007 10:29 am (UTC)

Yes he is :P

Posted by: NeverReallyBeenSure (torchwood666)
Posted at: August 25th, 2007 12:13 am (UTC)


Posted by: likestowrite (likestowrite)
Posted at: August 24th, 2007 10:50 am (UTC)

Beautiful continuation. Stuning dialogue between the pair.

I love Iris bless her, such a great character.
Very intriguing towards the end.

Can't wait for more, brilliant series.

Posted by: Tessa (tiggerbrasilf)
Posted at: August 24th, 2007 11:07 am (UTC)

Yay, more story! I was wondering what had happened to it and it gets more intriguing with each part.
I hope that whatever happened to you has resolved itself *hugs* sometimes real life gets in the way of stuff

Posted by: mustang_bex1126 (mustang_bex1126)
Posted at: August 24th, 2007 01:43 pm (UTC)

YAY! Fantastic Jo- this story is so interesting, can't wait to see more!

Posted by: gabyowen (gabyowen)
Posted at: August 24th, 2007 03:15 pm (UTC)

yay you wrote again. alright. can't wait to see what happens next.

Posted by: jigot (jigot)
Posted at: August 24th, 2007 05:51 pm (UTC)

Ooh goody - more of this :)

Great, as ever, but poor Ianto...

Posted by: pike2 (pike2)
Posted at: August 24th, 2007 08:22 pm (UTC)

Great update - oh, so many questions.

Thanks :o)

Posted by: Sam (samantharichter)
Posted at: August 25th, 2007 09:53 am (UTC)
Love suits you

Now this is getting interesting... *is very intrigued* Cool chapter, yay! :)

BTW, sorry, didn't mean to be nagging and all that, just that I got vaguely worried when you didn't post for so long...

Posted by: son_heir (son_heir)
Posted at: August 28th, 2007 10:04 pm (UTC)
Sam's porn

Wow this makes so much more sence now!
Loved this chapter.
Can't wait for the next one.
Keep it up this story is really intreging.

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